i'm sorry.
Forcing a child to say, "I'm sorry" can actually rob her of the chance to experience genuine empathy and remorse.
Parents become understandably upset when their child hurts another, and may want to address it immediately by requiring an apology.
Better--if possible--to slow down and say something along the lines of,
This doesn't mean you might not speak strongly, remove your child from the situation, or require her to make practical amends. But don't be fooled by inauthentic apologies that essentially teach a child that a couple of words will let them off the hook if they've inflicted harm on someone physically or emotionally.
Parents become understandably upset when their child hurts another, and may want to address it immediately by requiring an apology.
Better--if possible--to slow down and say something along the lines of,
"I know you to be a kind and caring person. Saying (or doing) what you just did to ___ is not who you are, at heart. Tell me what's going on so I can help you be true to yourself, and make sure no one gets hurt when you're hurting."
This doesn't mean you might not speak strongly, remove your child from the situation, or require her to make practical amends. But don't be fooled by inauthentic apologies that essentially teach a child that a couple of words will let them off the hook if they've inflicted harm on someone physically or emotionally.
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